


Say What Now?

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adoption, BAMF Avengers, Baby, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hugs, News Media, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not the same universe as Oh My God, SHIELD are at it again, Team as Family, Technopathy, There's Two Of Them, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-20 16:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Tony saves a newborn boy from AIM, he bonds with him but has no idea how to raise a kid.So, everyone else helps.ORThe one when Steve found Tony in the kitchen at midnight holding a baby.





	1. First Impressions are tough

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! I hope you like this fic!  
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated.  
> Enjoy~
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and P.S:  
> If anybody comments a name they think is good for the baby (male) I might put it in!

Steve had honestly just gone to get a midnight snack.

He had been up all night, rentless visions of Red Skull's horrifying visage, Bucky plummenting through the air-  _I'm with you to the end of the line, pal-_ and the finale, an icy tomb-

Well, anyway. No sleep.

To make the nightmares go away, Steve's plan was always to go beat the stuffing out of punching bags in the gym. He had been doing that for several hours now, and he had just finished off the thirteenth punching bag when he realised he was suddenly, absolutely, starving.

So, after a quick shower and change, Steve was quietly making his way down the hall to the huge kitchen door, which was slightly adjar. A warm light spilled out of the crack, bathing the doorframe in a faint glow. 

Clearly, someone had beat him to it, as he could hear whispering and scuffling coming from inside. He stopped in his tracks, feeling awkward. What if he interrupted something... _intimate?_

Steve stood in the dark corridor, dithering. It wouldn't be polite to get in somebody's way, but thanks to his enhanced appetite, if he needed food and didn't get it, the results could be potentially serious. Like, trip-to-hospital kind of serious.

Choice made, Steve peered around the edge of the door, feeling irrationally like a Peeping Tom.

The kitchen is empty. At first glance.

Then the figure stands up from behind the kitchen island in the centre of the room, and after an initial panic, Steve relaxes because that figure belongs to Tony. Tony is frantically rummaging in drawers, speaking in low panicked whispers while Jarvis speaks soothingly to him quietly.

"What the _fuck_  do I do J?!"

"Sir, if you would please calm-"

"I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing!"

"...I can see that, Sir."

"Really? Sass? Thank you J, you're vote of confidence is appreciated. Now, on top of everything else, I have a sassy AI butler! Joy of joys!"

Tony flops down on the elegant black couch more carefully than he usually does. Steve notes his arm appears to be holding- is that a makeshift cast?

Tony buried his face in one hand.

"Dammit, J," he mumbled, his voice muffled by his hand. "I'm going to be so shit at this."

"I beg to differ, Sir. By analysing my records of interactions between DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers, and the children of the Maria Stark Orphanage, I conclude-"

"No Jarvis! That is so different, so, so different!"

Tony looks up despairingly at the ceiling.

"And what the hell is the team going to think?"

Silence.

"Oh god. I am screwed. So screwed."

Steve stared at the forlorn figure on the couch, and felt concern and sympathy for his teammate. What could be bothering him so much, even Jarvis couldn't calm him?

Just then, a soft wail punctured the heavy silence.

Steve's head snapped up. Surely that wasn't-

Tony had leapt to his feet, and stood rocking the bundle Steve had previously assumed was some kind of makeshift bandage. The bundle twitched slightly as Tony talked to it gently, before it's tiny cries petered off.

Steve's jaw dropped.

"Jarvis, this is what I mean! I can't take care of a newborn  ~~~~ _baby_!"

"Tony?" Steve asked in astonishment, opening the kitchen door fully.

~☆~

Tony stared at the Capsicle's shocked face and wanted to cry. In any other situation, Steve's expression would have been absolutely hilarious to him. At the moment? Not so much.

The equally stunned and awkward silence ticked on.

"Well, let's face it. This is not the worst thing you caught me doing," Tony smiled weakly, making a pitiful attempt at humour.

Steve took no notice as he stared, agape, at the baby. To his suprise, Tony felt a surge, as fierce as it was sudden, of protectiveness. Finally, Steve managed to stutter out: "Tony, is that- is that a baby?

Tony sighed. "Jarvis?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I don't care how much they whine, just wake up the Avengers and send them down to the kitchen. Tell them to be quiet."

"Right away, Sir."

"Oh, and Jarvis?"

"Sir?"

"Order any supplies you think would be needed for the baby."

"Right away."

~☆~

**6 HOURS EARLIER**

Iron Man stared at the burning remains of the AIM base. It was cold. Russia was like that.

They were surrounded by a thick forest. It wasn't snowing, but obviously had snowed recently enough. Patches of melting slush were under nearby evergreen trees.

He looked down at the tiny boy bundled in his arms and said aloud, "Guess it's just you and me, little buddy. C'mon, we'll get you out of the cold."

The newborn moved feebly, trembling violently. The suit's display assured Tony the baby was in no serious danger, but weak from the already freezing AIM bunker.

Tony's jaw clenched. There had been so many...

But, this little guy was alive, and Tony was going to keep it that way, if it was the last thing he did.

Triggering the release clamps on his armour, Tony stepped out of it, and immediately flinched at the cold. It was a wonder the infant wasn't an icepop yet.

Tony took off his shirt, shivering in the cold but determined, wrapped the flimsy T-shirt, still warm from his body heat, around the boy.

"Jarvis? Can you heat up the exterior of the suit as well as the interior?"

"Certainly, Sir."

Tony stepped back into the suit, leaving the baby on the outside. Tony hated to do that, but there was no way he could fit in the armour with Tony.

Tony hugged the child to his rapidly heating breastplate, and the trembles stopped.

Tony glanced down and then furrowed his brow in shock.

The infant was staring at his arc reactor with big eyes, but what really suprised the Iron Man was the look of  _intelligence_ in them. While most newborns would be bawling, and while it was true the child was clearly distressed, he was calmly gazing at the arc reactor with curiosity.

Then the boy closed his eyes, curling his chubby fist around the finger of the suit's left hand gauntlet.

Iron Man took off in pursuit of a warm blanket.

 


	2. One In Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story and naming of the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, back again. Oh, and warning: I tried to keep it as vague as possible, but some content may be distressing to certain readers.  
> I own nothing, except the plot, and OC.  
> Kudos and Comments: greatly appreciated.  
> Enjoy~

Tony looked around at his sleepy, yawning team, and couldn't stop a smile.

Clint was wearing an official Hawkeye onsie.

Natasha sported a ridiculously long T-shirt with the cheerful slogan:  _I don't do mornings without coffee and knives._ She also had on a pair of black shorts.

Thor wore a robe that looked to be made of the skin of a golden bear/wolf hybrid.

Bruce boasted the outfit he had worn yesterday, plus a wrinkled lab coat- he had obviously crashed in the lab.

Steve wore a white shirt and workout pants. Also a shell-shocked expression.

And Tony was still in his flight suit, and was suddenly uncomfortable, aware that the one-piece was sticky from sweat and blood, and he probably reeked, and-

"Whaddya want, Stark? I swear, if this is a joke-"

Tony rushed to assure Clint that no, this was not a joke, and yes, that was blood on him.

Unluckily for Tony, the noise created by the Avengers assembling in the kitchen had awoken the baby held tightly to his chest, and it was now fascinated by the azure light shining through Tony's black flight suit. Nobody had yet noticed.

"Tony."

Tony flinched at Natasha's gaze.

"What are you holding?"

Just then, the little boy decided that he liked this mysterious light. He reached out a timid little hand, and touched the glowing outline. He made a happy cooing noise.

The Avengers stared at the bundle of Tony's jumper, the one that he wore over his flight suit. It now apparently had arms.

"Tones, why. Do I even want to know?" sighed _Bruce._

No. No, you probably don't. That was Tony's line of thinking, anyway. 

Clint had no such reservations.

"A baby?! Who the hell didja knock up, playboy?"

That...that hurt.

Natasha and Bruce must have noticed, as Bruce shot Clint a glare, and Natasha did too. And then she kicked him in the shins.

"Hey! I was only askin', Tasha! Besides, 's probably the truth," muttered Clint, still sore. Literally.

Natasha kicked him again, and then looked at Tony, silently threatening that it had better not be the truth.

Tony gave a defensive look. "No, Clint. This one isn't mine."

"Then...what are you doing with a baby?"

Tony took a deep breath.

~☆~

**9 HOURS AGO**

Tony Stark was soooooo done with this.

Sure, he'd had a shady past. Sure, he built weapons. But only for a few years! How did so many of them manage to end up... _everywhere?_

When he had got the alert from Jarvis earlier, saying that weapons of his had been spotted in Russia,  _including nine Jericho missiles,_ he had been shocked and, soon after, furious.

And also, if he was honest with himself, gutted.

He'd spent so long destroying his illegally sold weaponry, he had been convinced that there was simply no more original Stark weapons (pre-Afghanistan) out there. To discover he had missed something as big as  _nine fucking Jericho missiles-_ well, it was a painful reality check.

Or so he had thought.

When he finally got to Russia, flying on stealth mode, he was expecting a secret armoury-type warehouse, not to be surrounded by yellow beekeepers, all armed with armour piercing bullets. It had all been a trap. The missiles were eratz.

_Well, that's something, ain't it? Every cloud has a silver lining, and so on and so forth._

The armour had been hit by a disc that latched onto the arc reactor, and sent arcs of electricity dancing across the armour. The armour had smoked, and jerked, until finally falling from the sky.

When Tony woke up, he was in a cell. There was one guard, and after faking cardiac arrest-

**_"Faking? Tony Stark, you cannot 'fake' cardiac arrest!"_ **

**_Tony gave Natasha an embarrassed smile as he shifted the baby against his chest. "Well, mostly faking."_ **

**_Natasha growled and folded her arms._ **

**_"Anyway, on with the story-"_ **

-and after faking cardiac arrest, he had managed to pickpocket both a key, and a taser baton off the single guard.

Tony had happily electrocuted the guard, who had started bragging, anyway, and then went on to unlock the door.

Tony shivered in disgust as he unlocked it. An actual key? Honestly, who used those? 21st century, people.

So, Tony had wandered through their base, looking for his suit, tasing guards left, right, and centre, and all in all, having a nice time.

Until he found the serious section of the bunker.

Tony stood before an oversized metal door ( _compensating for something, are we?)_ with a holographic keypad appearing in the air in front of it. Hacking it was easy enough for Tony, but the genius grew increasingly worried with how many firewalls were in place. Maybe three people in the world could have hacked into it, undetected. Something was twisting uneasily in his gut. Something was...wrong.

With a mechanical hiss, the door slid open smoothly. The next room seemed spacious and cold, but also dark. Tony couldn't make out any details.

Tony took a tentative step into the chamber, and the lights flickered to life.

Ten.

One breathing.

Weeping, crying.

Tony couldn't deal with that right now though. Too busy throwing up.

**_Tony unconciously hugged the boy a little tighter. Everyone noticed, but nobody said anything._ **

**_The baby didn't seem to mind._ **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Once he had finished, he got shakily to his feet. Tony knew where he was now.

It was rumoured that AIM and HYDRA had joined forces on several occasions. These rumours mentioned secret labs, nicknamed Slaughterhouses.

**_Natasha, Clint, and Steve sucked in a breath._ **

**_"You-you got taken to a Slaughterhouse?" asked Clint, quietly regretting assuming the worst of the baby's origins._ **

**_Steve's eyes were wide. During the war, he himself had broken into several Slaughterhouses. It was always, always horribly traumatic._ **

**_Natasha just looked at the infant, cradled in her friend's arms. Once again, she reassessed Tony Stark._ **

The billionaire had walked unsteadily over to the baby. He touched it's hand gently. The infant was freezing, and it's wails increased after making contact.

Tony picked it up. He hadn't meant to.

Tony knew an amazingly little amount about children, but he did know that 1) babies should not be that light, 2) babies should not be trembling violently, and 3) most babies do not tend to have unnaturally pale skin. Although that could be due to a lack of sunlight.

Tony didn't know what to do. The baby was crying, obviously not in optimal condition, and  _holy shit, it's eyes are glowing blue._

Tony had already absently noted, in some corner of his panicking brain, that the boy's eyes were an icy blue. Now, however, they were a _glowing_  ice blue.

Suddenly, one of the lights above blew out. A formerly dull computer screen on the wall sprang to life, displaying numbers, letters and images. A nearby defillibrator started crackling.

Okay, in situations like this, what would his team do?

Follow protocol?

Tony looked around the room.

He was pretty sure there was no protocol for something like this.

Guess he'd just have to improvise.

"Hey little fella. Look, I'm sorry for scaring you," Tony said softly to the quivering infant. He clung to the genius tighter. 

The poor thing wasn't scared, it was fucking  _terrified._

Despite feeling awkward, Tony kept mumbling nonsense soothingly, and eventually, the room was silent again. The baby was fast asleep.

"Technomancy, huh?"

Silence.

Tony was suddenly acutely aware of how long he'd been in here, and how much noise he must have made.

Stepping over the puddle of vomit in the doorway, Tony and his precious cargo left and didn't look back.

When he finally found the suit, he burned the place, and took a vengeful, twisted pleasure in the screams.

~☆~

**PRESENT**

Tony finished.

Bruce was as green as a Christmas tree, and briskly excused himself.

Clint was also green, and excused himself. He could be heard upchucking in the nearest bathroom.

Thor noticed Cap first.

The American icon was clenching and unclenching his fists, and his eyes were squeezed shut.

Tony noticed Natasha.

Her usually uptight stance had slackened, and her eyes were wide and unseeing.

"I'll get Widow, you get Cap?"

"Aye, friend Anthony."

Once Steve and Natasha were out of the war, and the Red Room, respectively, and Clint was done puking, and Bruce was done Hulking, they all gathered around the kitchen table.

"'Tis a tragic tale, to be sure. Does the infant not have any of her clan to care for him?"

Tony shook his head. "No, Thor. The babies were grown, not given birth to."

"How can you be sure, Tones?"

Tony's voice was bitter and venomous. "Trust me Bruce. I'm sure."

Nobody spoke.

"Who will mind the child?"

"I'm sure Coulson can find somebody-" Clint offered.

"No."

All heads swiveled to look at Tony.

"I don't care. I'm keeping him."

Jaws dropped.

"Tony, you're head of Stark Industries. You can't mind a baby-"

"I'm not head of SI. Pepper's the CEO. Besides, he has a name."

Natasha smiled. She had known this was coming the moment she had saw Tony hug the baby while telling his story.

"And his name is..." she prompted gently.

Tony grinned, feeling a yet another wave of this strange protectiveness.

"James Edwin Stark."

 

 

 

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, longer chapter for ya. Hope you're happy!  
> Thanks for all your support.


	3. The Avengers VS Parenting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gives the boys a pep talk, Clint drugs Tony, Tony forgot to mention something important, Natasha falls in love with James's cuteness, and there is an unwanted guest.
> 
>  
> 
> Not in that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> Hey everybody, so sorry for not updating. Thanks for all your support on this fic-it's one of my faves. Thanks for kudos and commenting! They are always appreciated, even if I'm not good at answering them. Sorry!  
> Oh and any requests?  
> Anyway,  
> Enjoy~

"Ohmigosh. That is  _adorable_ ," whispered Clint to a sappy-looking Bruce.

"To be honest, I...I didn't think he had it in him," Bruce said quietly, gazing at the figure rocking the baby in the brand new nursery, complete with a hastily assembled Moses basket.

Natasha had run out to a nearby 24-hour supermarket for formula, baby bottles, and nappies. The Moses basket had been ordered by Jarvis, along with toys, a baby bath, and several tiny onsies that Natasha had cooed over for a good five minutes. It was funny; Bruce hadn't pegged her as the motherly type (considering her occupation), but then again, he  _certainly_ hadn't guessed Tony would be a natural father. 

Steve was in the common room, having the lucky job of calling Pepper at three in the morning, and telling her it was urgent. Thor was taking care of a robbery a few streets away-small scale, nothing he couldn't handle. Clint and Bruce were just watching and  _awww_ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ing. Speaking of which, they were rudely awakened from their musings by a sharp hush, coming from the darkened nursery.

"Oops. Guess we better scram, Green Bean."

"But it's so cute..."

" _Bruce!"_

_"Sssh!"_

"Alright, alright, I'm going. Sorry."

Bruce allowed Clint to drag him away, still staring at the adorable scene, lit by the blue glow. 

They met up with a pale-faced Steve in the common room.

"So, how did it go?" enquired Clint innocently.

Steve gave him a glare worthy of Natasha. "At first, considering I was calling her, and at three in the morning, she said she thought Tony was dead. Then, once I explained, she said she thought Tony was going to be dead. Very soon. Then, when I explained a bit more, she started sobbing."

Bruce and Clint gave Steve identical bewildered looks.

Steve shrugged helplessly. "I may have handled it wrong."

"Steve," Bruce spoke slowly and clearly. "What exactly did you tell her?"

Steve opened his mouth sheepishly, only to be interrupted by Natasha's arrival.

"Okay, Pampers, formula, baby bottles," she listed, at great speed. "Did I miss anything?"

"Um, no offence, but, how would we know?" Clint asked.

Natasha stared at the three clueless idiots in front of her, and then she started to slowly massage her forehead.

Bruce tried to speak, but she held up a hand. The three men waited awkwardly, feeling more and more uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke.

"Listen to me. Tony has had a very traumatic day - he got sent to a fucking  _Slaughterhouse,_ for Christ's sake! - and now he is a parent to an infant with technomancy. A single parent, who has already had daddy issues and insecurity complexes. He is almost certainly injured, probably hasn't slept in over 48 hours. And after a sleepless night, he's going to have to face Pepper, Fury, the media, his company...and in his head, he's going to think he's alone-"

Steve, Clint, and Bruce all started to object loudly, but Natasha held a finger to her lip, and waved a hand in the direction of the nursery, and they all shut up.

"That stubborn _durachit'_  is going to think he's alone. So, we need to show him he's not. Like it, or not, the baby's one of our own now, so act like it. Help Tony however you can, and make sure he sleeps, and gets his leg checked out."

"His leg?"

"He was limping earlier, didn't you see, Clint?"

"Nooope. Too busy being shocked at AIM. Also, the whole baby thing, y'know?"

Just then, a soft round of wails struck up, and the group heard a muffled curse in Italian, and a tired sigh.

"Clint," ordered Natasha.

"Okay, fine. Don't blame me if it cries."

"Just don't drop James," warned Bruce.

Clint was immediately terrified. "Oh god, Tasha, what if I drop the baby? What if it squirms, or I trip, or-?"

Natasha huffed angrily, and stormed off to relieve Tony of baby-sitting duty.

Quietly, of course.

 ~☆~

Tony looked at James. He continued to screw his face up and wail. 

"Y'know, James? I should be mad right now. I should also be in medical right now, but that's not important. What's important is that you have been through enough shit. I'm sorry I can't even provide a good night's sleep for you. God knows you deserve that much, at least."

Natasha watched her tired billionaire bounce the little boy, and let a soft, sentimental smile grace her features. Who would have thought, really, that out of all the Avengers, this was the man who took in a baby with nowhere else to go.

"Tony?" she murmured quietly, not wanting to startle him.

Tony jumped. "Tash! How long have you  _been_ there?"

She smirked, not unkindly. "Give him here, I'll take over."

Tony visibly slumped in relief. "Oh, Tash, you're an angel. Oh, I love you so much right now."

" _Ya' lyublyu tebya,_ too. Now, hand him over, and go to Medical. Get Bruce, okay?"

Tony nodded, clearly spent, but still hesitated for a split second before handing over James. He made a break for the door, and Natasha frowned after him. And the trail of dark liquid that followed him out the door. Was that idiot still bleeding?

"Jarvis-"

"Sir is heading to Dr Banner now, Miss Romanov," Jarvis said, volume low, anticipating her request.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

Concern lifted from her mind, she looked down, and finally got a proper view of James Edwin Stark. 

Unusually blue eyes gazed up at her, curiosity evident. Black little curls of hair covered his fragile head. Tiny little hands grabbed bundles of red hair. He was unusually alert for such an obviously young child. He had a beautiful little smile. 

"Quite the little charmer, you are," she whispered softly, booping the infant's nose, much to his delight, causing him to flash that gummy smile at her again. "I can see why Tony liked you."

In actual fact, James was similar enough to Tony in facial structure, that Tony would probably have no trouble passing him off as his own. As for his intelligence...well, if the look he was giving her was any indication, that wouldn't be a problem.

Slowly, she began swaying from side to side, singing a hushed Russian melody. James closed his eyes, a chubby hand seeking out her finger, and clasping it tight.

Oh yes. This one was staying. Good luck taking James from  _her._

~☆~

"Brucie-Bear! I kind of...need assistance."

"Are you alright, Tones- _your leg!"_

 _"_ Jesus, Shellhead."

"Hello Barton. Oh, and Capsicle, too? Am I crashing a party?"

" _There's a knife sticking out of the back of your calf, Tony!"_

"Thank you, Brucie-Bear, I noticed that."

"Why didn't you say anything, Tony?!"

"Because you all wanted an explanation, Cap!"

"You know, I'm  _pretty fucking sure there were no knives in the story, Shellhead!"_

 _"_ I...forgot to mention it?"

Everybody stared at Tony. Clint smacked him lovingly. "Idiot."

"Right back at ya, Birdbrain."

"Jarvis, prep medical."

"Already done, Dr Banner."

"Tony, I swear, I'm going to kill you."

"Love you too, Cap."

Steve swung him up in a fireman's lift, ignoring Tony's multiple protests, and carried him to Medical.

A table was ready, bandages, needle and thread ( _A_ _ww, now I want pink stitches! **Shut up, Legolas**_ ), and antiseptic cream, all lined up. Steve heaved Tony onto the table, and before he could get another word out, Clint stabbed a needle in his arm.

"Ouch, Hawkass! I swear, you're as bad as Natashaleeee," Tony mumbled, before passing out sideways, nearly falling off the table.

Steve stared at Clint. "You know, you didn't need to knock him unconcious, right?"

Clint shrugged, sombre. "He needed the sleep. Besides, the knife's in pretty deep." He immediately brightened. "Hey, that rhymes!"

Shaking his head fondly at his impossible teammate, Steve turned to Bruce just in time to hear a highly unpleasant noise, and see the knife slide cleanly out of a deep cut. It immediately started oozing scarlet, so Bruce got to work.

Bruce worked fast. In barely any time, a neat row of stitches marked the knife's entry. Wrapping it up, in eggshell white bandages was easy.

In no time at all, they had a sleeping genius with a bandaged leg, curled up on a metal table. Nobody knew quite what to do with him.

Natasha slipped in, an emotion lingering on her face few had seen so openly before. "He's asleep," she remarked, suprised. 

"Yeah, Barton drugged him," Bruce said casually.

Rolling her eyes, Natasha paused suddenly. "Wait," she said. "Where's Th-"

The door slammed open, Thor holding a man in yellow by the neck.

"I found this mortal attempting to infiltrate the tower," Thor said grimly. "I have questioned him comprehensively, and I believe he was here for our friend and the child."

Silence reigned, excepting the AIM operative's terrified grunts and gasps. He looked around frantically. Every face in the room was stony, excluding the sleeping man, in the bloodied suit.

"He confessed to being from the Slaughterhouse that held Anthony and James. He said he was here to reclaim 'lost property'. Also, his knife."

Natasha and Clint snarled. Bruce's eyes glowed radioactive green. But the Captain had the final verdict.

"Drop him."

Thor did.

Off the tower.

You do not mess with one of the Avenger's own. Or two, in this case

~☆~

Tony was so cosy and warm. 

There was a steady beat - a thud, thud, thud, and he was in big, warm arms, and red tickled his elbow. His leg was white, but that was okay because green had done it, and then a booming laugh echoed around his head, only to be halted by snakes, hussssshing instead of hissing, and purple popped over and patted his arm. That was nice of purple, until red swatted him away. And now the thud, thud, thud was stopping, and now they were on a soft, fluffy ocean of white, all of them, floating on the ocean, until they left, and came back, with white waves that swept over him and felt so warm. As they left (except they didn't really, so that was good) he saw them perch on the edge of the white ocean. They were talking, a comforting jumble-

And then Tony was asleep again.

Sleeping as soundly as James Edwin Stark, in the room next door.

 

 

~~**** ~~


	4. In Order To Spice Things Up, Add Pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint eats strawberries, Pepper gets the wrong idea entirely, and Tony does something unimaginable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Back so soon :)  
> As always, thanks for kudos and comments! Never thought this fic would be this popular, but I'm delighted it is. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for all your support. I will try to reply to comments more. Sorry 'bout that.  
> As always folks,   
> Enjoy~

"You are an asshole, you know that? You fucking stabbed a needle in my neck!"

"Hey, you needed the sleep! Also, the giant fucking knife in your leg!"

"Well, ask me before you drug me!"

"Oh yes, like I'll just say 'Tony, I'm going to stick a needle that'll make you go night-night in you, okay?' Yeah, I  _don't see that happening_."

"Better that then knocking me out without my consent!"

"Would you two  _shut up_?!"

A very angry Natasha stood at the kitchen door, nostrils flaring. Her hair stood up like an crimson halo, and she wore her pink dressing gown, which clashed rather spectacularly with her hair.

"James is still asleep. If you can't act like mature grown-ups for yourselves, then do it for him!"

The archer and the genius sighed, and gave each other looks of mutual irritation.

"Now, apologise."

"Sorry, Hawkass," muttered Tony.

"Sorry, Shellhead," muttered Clint.

Natasha nodded, satisfied. "Good. Clint, Tony's right, you shouldn't have drugged him without asking. Tony, Clint was only trying to help, you looked like a bleeding zombie last night. Now, what's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes. Bruce has gone out to get butter, Pop-Tarts, and strawberries. Apparently-" Tony gave Clint the stink-eye, " _\- somebody_ has been eating all of the strawberries."

Clint flashed his best shit-eating grin, and somersaulted backwards onto the obsidian-coloured sofa.

Natasha shook her head, messy curls flying everywhere, and plonked herself down on one of the kitchen chairs. She pulled out a book.  _The Cruelty_ by Scott Bergstrom. Clint had a glance at the cover and snorted.

"Good morn, fellow shield brothers, and sister!"

"Hey, Point Break. Sleep well?"

"Indeed, Anthony! My slumber was pleasant, and refreshing."

"Good to hear. How is the new bed holding up?"

Thor, due to the fact that he has dreams of battling his enemies, lashes out in his sleep and destroys more beds in a week then most people use in a lifetime. Sick of ordering new king-sized beds every morning, Tony finally built a bed even stronger than his armour. In fact, if you wanted to take down Iron Man, all you had to do was throw Thor's bedframe at him. 

"The bedframe you forged is nothing short of magnificent! I heard nary a creak throughout the night," Thor beamed.

Bruce arrived, the elevator doors opening with a quiet  _ding!,_ shopping bags over his arm.

"I'm going to start cooking now, okay Clint, so stop pestering me, or no pancakes," Bruce warned, with a small huff of exasperation.

And Clint did. Bruce's pancakes were a work of art, despite the fact he couldn't cook any other dish without setting the kitchen on fire. But his pancakes?  _Heaven._

"Where's the All-American boy?" Tony asked, sipping his seventh mug of coffee this morning, while Bruce began on the pancakes.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is currently in James's room," Jarvis answered.

"Is James alright?" Tony couldn't mask the gentle concern in his tone, and all the other Avengers smiled at one another knowingly. Natasha looked especially smug.

"James has been stirring for the past ten minutes. I believe Captain Rogers heard him on the way to the kitchen, and wished to ensure his well-being."

Tony put down his coffee and left.

Everyone stared, terrified. Nobody wanted to admit they saw what they thought they saw.

Clint walked unsteadily across the airy, bright kitchen to the still-steaming coffee mug. It was one of those cheesy joke mugs that read  _My other car is the Iron Man Armour!_

He touched it, warily. It was hot, and solid.

He turned to face the petrified kitchen.

"Did...did you... see?" Clint asked, voice trembling and cracking.

"He put it down," Bruce said in disbelief. "He put his seventh mug of coffee in the morning down.  _Willingly."_

"Tasha? Tasha, did you poison him?"

Natasha was still staring, mouth open, at the innocent-looking mug of coffee. She managed to shake her head slowly, side to side, once.

"Jarvis of the Ceiling," Thor said urgently, "is that really the Man Of Iron or is this some devilish trickery?"

Jarvis replied immediately, a laugh evident in his voice.

"Mr Thor, while there is a 0.001% chance of error, I can say with some certainty that, that is indeed my creator."

Clint broke the silence with a borderline hysterical cackle.

"Oh, he's absolutely head over heels for that kid! Who woulda thunk?"

"You'd be shocked, Agent Barton. You'd be shocked," said Jarvis wisely.

Clint glared at the ceiling. "Now, what is that meant to mean?"

"Tell me Jarvis!"

Suddenly, an odd aroma drifted through the kitchen.

"Shit!  _The pancakes!"_

~☆~

Steve froze, hoping he hadn't woke James.

No such luck. He could hear moving, but no crying... _yet._

Oh, this was so not good. Apparently, little James was very, very difficult to get to sleep, according to Natasha, and he did not want a pissed Nat yelling at him for waking the baby. Or Tony, for that matter, who seemed as protective of James as he was of DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers. And when Steve first came down to the workshop, a sleep-deprived Tony had attacked him with a wrench for touching shy Butterfingers. He apologised later, of course, but an angry Tony with a wrench was not something to laugh at.

Then, the elevator doors slid open and Tony came out, in his Iron Man pyjama top and black shorts.

"Hey Steve!" he said casually, as he ran past into the nursery. "Lights, Jarvis."

The lights flicked on, and Steve heard a cry, not of misery, just designed to attract attention.

Tony lifted up the little baby smoothly. "Hi there, buddy."

James laughed, and smacked Tony's arc reactor, making a muffled thud.

"Hey!" Tony held the baby aloft, acting offended. "Is that any way to treat the guy who saved your life? Is it?"

James giggled some more, and pulled Tony's ear.

Steve couldn't help but let out a chuckle. This man, who he had first seen on TV in an immaculate tailored suit, in a ridiculously expensive car, with perfect hair and a fake smile, was now standing in front of him in a nursery, wearing absurd pyjamas, holding a baby who was yanking on his ear, and grinning.

What an unexpected turnabout.

"C'mon Apple Pie, Brucie-Bear's making pancakes!" Tony said cheerfully, breezing past Steve with James still tugging at his ear, and heading for the elevator.

Steve gazed after them in amazed disbelief before shaking his head, and running after them.

After all, it wouldn't do to miss Bruce's pancakes.

~☆~

It was after a delicious breakfast of pancakes, maple syrup, and strawberries when it happened. The Avengers were sitting comfortably around in a kind of semi-circle, watching  _The Man From U.N.C.L.E._ , Bruce being permitted to hold James, and feed him a bottle, when-

"Sir, Miss Potts has arrived-"

"TONY!"

Tony leapt to his feet, anxiously. "Um, hi Peps..."

"DON'T YOU 'HI PEPS' ME!"

A red whirlwind of fury flew into the semi-circle of Avengers. Everybody winced. Tony took a step back.

"You  _told_ me you'd stop being such a playboy! I warned you! You promised!"

"No Peps, it's not-"

"Yes, Tony, it is! Do you have any idea what the press will  _do_ with this?! Did you think about the company? At all? What poor woman's baby is it, anyway?"

"Peps, listen-"

"You know what, I actually don't care. I can't believe this, Tony, you said you'd change. And you did! At least, I thought you did. Were you doing this when we were in a relationship?! Did you go behind my back?!"

Everyone saw how much that hurt the billionaire, shoulders slumping, and face creasing in shock. "Pepper! I would never-"

"Wouldn't you?! Do you even care about the company, the position? Or are you too busy-"

"MISS POTTS!" Clint roared.

Pepper ground to a halt, and stared at him in shock.

"Look, I know this looks bad, but I'm just going to get to the crux of the matter here: Biologically,  _the baby isn't Tony's."_

Pepper's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Miss Potts," Steve said, standing up. "I'm sorry, I don't think I explained very well over the phone. Last night was...stressful. But Tony was kidnapped by an AIM Slaughterhouse-" Steve ignored Pepper's whimper of horror, comprehension dawning, "-and while escaping, found ten babies, part of some sick experiment."

"Ten?" Pepper asked, obviously confused. "But-" Her eyes widened. "Oh, no. Oh,  _Tony..."_

"He brought back the only one able to be brought home," continued Steve rentlessly. "And discovered that James has technomancy, possibly technopathy as well."

Pepper gaped at him in shock for a moment and then she whirled around to an obviously hurt Tony, her eyes shining with tears. "Oh, Tony, I am so, so sorry!"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Anybody would have reacted the same," Tony said soothingly, rubbing circles into a weeping Pepper's back as she sobbed into his chest.

"No! It's not okay! I should have known better, I'm meant to be your friend, I shouldn't have assumed those horrible, horrible things, I'm so sorry!"

Tony looked at the Avengers, face clearly screaming  _Help me!_

Bruce took pity on Tony. "Miss Potts?"

Pepper sniffed. "Pepper, please."

"Well, um, Pepper...would you like to see him?"

Pepper slowly turned to Bruce, a tearful smile on her face. "Yes, please."

Wordlessly, Bruce handed James to Tony, where he immediately began thwacking the arc reactor with gusto. Tony laughed at each feeble hit.

Pepper dried her eyes, and smiled at the little boy. "Hello...James, wasn't it?"

"James Edwin Stark," Tony said proudly.

Pepper's eyes welled up again at that, but for a completely different reason.

"Well, James, want to go to your Auntie Pepper?"

Pepper looked up sharply at the use of 'Auntie', startled, but then accepted James carefully.

James's big eyes, reminded her of a necklace she once owned, with delicate turquoise beads. They didn't seem real, something you'd see in a cartoon, or anime. His skin was worryingly pale, but that was to be expected, from what Tony had described his former home to be. He had a thick head of curly black hair, and a button nose. He was a very handsome baby, if a bit on the small side.

Pepper could feel the glares of the other Avengers (Natasha) burning a hole into her back, and silently vowed to get an apology gift for the genius later. 

"Tony...how do you plan on legally adopting James? I mean...according to the law, James isn't really existing. Legally."

To everybody's suprise, Bruce jumped in.

"Don't worry about that. Last night, I made a couple of calls to my cousin, a lawyer, and she reckons that if we can get Coulson to 'assist' with the whole process, James could be legally yours in a week."

Tony grinned at Bruce, truly touched. "Thanks, Bruce. That means a lot to me."

"And don't worry about getting Coulson's help," Clint chimed in. "He's a sentimental sap when it comes to kids. Plus, me an' Tash are his favourites, so if  _we_ ask..."

Natasha nodded. "Besides, good luck trying to get James off me. He's adorable. My new favourite. Sorry, Clint."

"Hey!"

"Aye, Man Of Iron. I, too, have grown attached to the child. If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, my mother, the goddess of motherhood and Queen of Asguard, is skilled at helping control abilities. If this technomancy proves to be a problem, she could help control it."

Tony looked around at all these people, all willing to help, and opened his mouth to thank them.

And that was when the alarm went off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The Cruelty' is a wonderful book about a girl who becomes an assassin, not by choice. Just thought it would be funny to have Natasha reading it.
> 
> Also, 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E'? It's awesome. Go watch it. Now.
> 
> I love all of you! Will update soon! ;)


	5. Death by Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama. There is an obvious problem with James's power. Also, Pepper redeems herself.
> 
> A little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK?!  
> New chapter, drama and angst, and all that jazz.  
> Kudos and Comments-always appreciated! Thank you for reading!  
> I love you all, and I hope you  
> Enjoy~

Everybody froze for a split second before their training kicked in.

"Okay people, suit up! Leaving in five!" yelled Captain America to the group.

"Pepper, mind James. Won't be long," Tony said, moving to activate his suit, before Steve stopped him.

"No. Tony, for just this mission, you're staying behind. I'm sorry," Steve explained, gently as he could.

Tony gaped at him, rage warring with shock, and disbelief on his face. "W-what?! No! You  _need_ me out there for air support! Is this because of James?"

Steve shook his head. "No, Tony, it's because yesterday you had a knife sticking out of your leg for hours, and still can't walk without leaning on someone. I promise, just for this one mission. Sorry, Tony."

To everyone watching's shock, Tony stood staring at Steve for a few moments, mutely, then nodded.

"Fine."

Grateful for Tony's co-operation, (and also slightly terrified by it, too) Captain America left, along with the others.

James didn't like that.

The whole time, a shell-shocked Pepper had stood there, still holding him while the alarms blared, people ran around and shouted orders, and it was too much for the little boy. He wailed pitifully, wanting the noise and the lights to stop, just  _stop._

The alarm shut down mid-scree, the keening scream designed to provoke action, dying off instantly. The blaring red alert went dull. In fact, all the lights went out.

Including the arc reactor.

Tony had just been standing there, arms outstretched to take James from Pepper, when he felt a strange tug at his chest, and didn't  _that_ bring back memories. Looking down, curious but not unduly concerned, he saw to his mounting horror that the arc reactor had just flickered, and died. Black spots danced across his vision and with a muttered " _shit_ " Tony hit the ground.

He was dimly aware of Pepper's wordless scream but it seemed distant, unimportant. And then the bitingly sharp  _pain,_ the shrapnel embarking on the crusade it started years ago, attempting to puncture his heart by any means possible. Pain was muffled slightly by shock, but his vision was still darkening. Tony had never felt more disconnected. It was...peaceful, almost.

And then the weirdest thing happened.

_Well done, genius._

Oh, you have got to be fucking with me. _  
_

**_Dad? Are you serious? I'm dying, and the last voice I hear is yours? Is this the best my mind can do?_ **

_I'm proud of you, son._

**_Wow. You are certainly not Howard._ **

_No. I'm just a subconcious attempt to make you feel better at doing such a crappy job at life, and also to inject some humour into this chapter._

**_...And now you're speaking nonsense. Wonderful._ **

**_..._ **

**_Well, this is awkward. It adds a new terror to dying, anyway._ **

_You know, you're really quite idiotic sometimes._

**_Ah, now that's the Howard I know and despise. Why couldn't I have thought of Mom, instead?_ **

_No, really. I mean technology in your chest keeping you alive, that's all well and good, but, why on Earth would you let a powerful technomancer who has no idea what he's doing, anywhere near you?_

**_He's a baby. I couldn't just leave him there!_ **

~~~~_Sentimental fool. At least take precautions._

**_Not like I have to worry about that now._ **

_Actually, you might. Your PA seems very determined._

**_Yeah, Pepper's a force of nature, alright._ **

_Mmm. Oh, by the way, this may sting a little._

_**Wha-**_ "YEOWCH!"

~☆~

Pepper didn't know what had happened.

The alarms were blaring, lights flashing, and she was trying to calm the poor thing weeping in her arms, when-

Dead silence.

Broken only by a strangled groan as Tony keeled over, hands clutching his chest.

" _Tony!"_

 _"Shit,"_ he mumbled, then seemed to black out.

Pepper echoed his statement as she dropped to her knees, propping James up on a pillow as quickly as she could. She rolled the limp genius onto his back.

"Jarvis! What the fuck happened?"

Pepper didn't usually curse, but when she did, she did it with gusto.

"Arc reactor failure. Cause: Approximately 96% possibility of technomancy, 3% possibility outside cause, 1% possibility mechanical failure."

" _How do I fix it, Jarvis?!"_

In answer, a slot in the sleek white wall opened, and a blue glow was visible.

James watched in confusion, absently sucking his finger.

Pepper sprinted over to the arc reactor, praying her heels wouldn't snap, and snatched it up, with perfectly manicured nails.

She knelt back down beside the billionaire's prone form, and tried not to think what she had said to him not half an hour ago. Scarlet leaked from the corner of his mouth, and Pepper wanted to scream, wanted to run away, because her friend was dying, but she could fix this.

Yanking up his T-shirt, she grabbed the malfunctioning arc reactor and twisted it anticlockwise, before pulling it out. It was just as horrible as she remembered, performing what was almost open-heart surgery on a friend, but she'd survive.

_And Tony won't if you don't get moving!_

 

Galled into action by her suprisingly forceful inner voice, she winced slightly, before reaching her hand in the gaping cavity, grasping around blindly for the arc reactor's wire that connected it to...well, actually, she wasn't a hundred per cent sure. All she knew was that it was important.

Finding the cable, she carefully plucked it out. Tony jerked slightly, but remained irresponsive to Pepper's pleas to  _Please, just wake up! I'm sorry!_

Biting back tears, all professionalism gone, she connected all the wires of the new arc reactor to their suitable sockets, on the inside of the cavern in his chest. The arc reactor started glowing with an audible hum, but Tony didn't move.

She shook him. "No! Please wake up...I'm so sorry, I was an idiot, I still really care about you. No, you don't get to do this! You're a hero..."

No response. James was silent, staring with unnatural stillness. Pepper buried her head in Tony's chest.

There was a click.

And then, with a sharp "YEOWCH!", the arc reactor electrocuted Tony back into life. Which was good, great in fact, and oh god, Pepper was still crying, mascara running, hair loose and tumbling.

Tony sat up, wincing. Pepper bit back a hysterical laugh. Tony's hair was sticking bolt upright, frizzy and full of static, and there was soot marks on his face.

"Ugh...my mouth tastes like blood, and-"

Pepper launched herself at him, sobbing and giggling at the same time.

Tony hugged her, clearly bewildered. "Uh...hi, Peps?"

She made an odd noise, a cross between a snort and a sob. It sounded like a lion choking on a horse.

She didn't realise exactly when it was he passed out again, but it was probably when the throw cushion with James on it shifted, and James rolled onto his already injured leg. Pretty soon, Pepper was cuddling James to her, while she supported Tony, still laughing and crying by turns.

It was in this state the Avengers found them, and considering her earlier behaviour, they were understandably concerned to see Tony's CEO and former love interest, sitting on the floor, holding a baby and a bleeding genius, while she snorted as tears rolled down her cheeks.

~☆~

Clint had been in the middle of a filthy joke that had Steve blushing, and everyone else roaring with laughter, when they touched down at the tower, and Jarvis informed they were needed in the kitchen.

"Potts probably went ballistic again," sighed Natasha, still bitter from earlier. Natasha could be extremely protective and are far as she was concerned? The whole team was under her protection.

"Mmm. Maybe I shouldn't have told Tony to stay behind. He was right, we did need the air support, and now Fury's pestering me about where Tony is," Steve said, gnawing hard on his lip.

"He was injured, Steve. You had to," reassured Bruce calmly.

"Welp. Let's go up, and see who's dead, " Clint smirked.

He was not expecting to be so close to the truth.

The doors slid open, and Clint's brain registered a limp figure, blood, and a weeping figure, and then an arrow was nocked, string held taunt, one eye squeezed shut.

Steve held up his shield; not threatening, but not friendly either. "Miss Potts?"

Pepper turned to face them, choking on sobs. "He almost died...and I didn't get to say how sorry I was!"

Bruce stepped forward, hands raised in the universal symbol for  _Look! I am not holding a big gun that I will kill you with!_

"Pepper, can you put Tony and James down?"

She did, as gently as if she was holding a dandelion puff. James cooed at her, as she hiccupped softly.

"Thank you. Now, what happened?"

"James's technomancy...it-it shut down his heart an-and he was bleeding, and I had to change the arc reactor, but he wouldn't wake up, and-"

Pepper's voice grew more high-pitched, and panicked as she went on, and Bruce held up a hand to calm her.

"Okay, it's okay. But Tony's fine now? And James?"

She sniffled and nodded. "I think so."

Bruce turned to the others. "He's been bleeding from the mouth, I'll have to get him to Medical as quickly as we can. Steve, go."

Steve picked Tony up in a bridal style lift, and left. 

"Natasha, take James. He knows you."

Indeed, James seemed delighted to see Natasha, making happy squeals as she nuzzled his stomach playfully. She wrinkled up her nose suddenly, and said "Jarvis, where are the nappies?"

Jarvis told her, and the two left quickly.

"Thor, Clint. Calm Miss Potts down, if you can." 

Clint glared at Bruce's retreating back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.  
> I don't know if enough people will answer, but I plan on starting a new fic soon, and I'd like you guys to vote. It will be a wingfic, Marvel and Teen. It will center on Tony.  
> Q1.  
> Should it be set in  
> A) an au where Civil War never happened.  
> B) after the civil war
> 
> Q2.  
> Should T have wings because  
> A) from birth  
> B) an experiment  
> C) a mutant  
> D) magic
> 
> Q3.  
> A) helpful old team (Steve, Clint, Nat, ect)  
> B) helpful new team (New Avengers)
> 
> Q4.  
> Should it  
> A) be revealed dramatically  
> B) T fesses up to having wings.  
> C) villian of the week finds out, and reveals in to the Avengers  
> D) Thor finds out
> 
> I would love it if you'd please take the time to answer. Oh, and any prompts?


	6. That really short chapter that is just a bridge between two events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.  
> Short chapter, sorry.   
> Two new fics coming out! One already out, it's called Wings Of War. It's the wingfic I mentioned. Thank you all BTW.  
> The next one is gonna be out soon, it's a mafia/mob fic called Lookin' like this. Please check it out.  
> Enjoy~

"Tony?"

Tony looked up, from wiring stuff that Steve didn't understand, and never would. "Hey Capsicle."

"You really shouldn't be working."

"I know. But, believe it or not, this invention is actually going to be beneficial to my health."

"I'm sure it is, but you nearly sent Pepper into a nervous breakdown earlier by almost dying in her arms. She'll kill me if you aren't sleeping," Steve explained patiently.

"No, seriously. This is going to block James's technopathy. As long as he has it on, he won't be able to use it."

Steve grinned, impressed. "Wow, really? It won't hurt him, right?"

Tony sent Steve an unimpressed glare. Steve held his hands up in surrender.

"Alright, alright, you know what you're doing. But an hour more, and that's it. Otherwise, I'll get Natasha to come and taser you."

"Yes, Mom," the mechanic mumbled sarcastically.

Steve turned to go, setting down a sandwich on the bench beside him. Tony hated to be handed things.

"Steve?"

"Yes?"

"Is...is Pepper okay?" Tony asked hesitantly, sounding timid and shy, which was not like him  _at all._

They may not technically be a thing anymore, but Tony still loved Pepper. 

"Yeah...yeah, she's fine," Steve said, as convincingly as he could. "Thor and Bruce brought her home."

"Good."

~☆~

Natasha gave an evil grin as James drooled all over Clint's  _Lord Of The Rings_ T-shirt. The archer released a very unmanly squeal, leaping backwards, and passing James as quickly as he could to Natasha. The archer moaned as he batted at the glistening trail of drool on his top.

"Oh Natasha, no! It drooled all over me!"

"First of all, his name is James. Secondly, I've been holding him for ages now, and look! No saliva. Guess he just likes me best," said Natasha smugly, throwing her head back.

"Or maybe he's just terrified of you," muttered Clint.

"As you should be."

"Oh believe me, Nat, after Budapest?  _I am."_

They were laughing cheerfully, when Jarvis announced. "Director Fury has requested entrance to the Tower."

You could have heard a pin drop.

"Clint, you know how to hold a baby, right?"

"Yeah. Kinda."

"Without supervision?"

"Uhh..."

"Right then. Distract Fury while I find a safe place to put James. It's almost his naptime anyway."

"How do you even know that?!"

"Because he's yawning and sucking his thumb. Go!  Distract!"

Clint scarpered.

Now, where could she hide a baby?

 


End file.
